Funny

Here's an article from yesterday's Sunday Observer that made me laugh out loud.

"What is it with modern women and shoes?" by Barbara Ellen
http://observer.guardian.co.uk/magazine/story/0,,2087387,00.html

"A brain, a brain, my kingdom for a brain"

Forget the horse, I need a brain that functions at a more profound level than just taking care of the basics, like making sure that my heart beats and my lungs breathe. I'm not sure I need an entirely new brain (I like the memories contained in my current one), but I certainly need it to exit its present foggy state. Stay tuned, maybe a decent night's sleep (here's where we'd have a close up on the wistful expression on my face) will alleviate my foggy woes.

Numbers

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, teven."
New numerical system courtesy of Anna.

Lefty, jr.

Behold, my left-handed child! I'm pretty close to making it official, but Elsa's is really looking like a left-hander. That's pretty exciting for me because I've been the lone lefty in my family.

Elsa and Anna both seem to have inherited my shoe obsession. Elsa's latest move is called "The Clumper". She goes off to find a shoe to put on her foot, only one shoe, and then she scoots around on her bottom "clumping" with the shoe on her non-scooting foot. I tried to capture it in a photo, but I'm not sure it comes through. One of these days I'll capture it on video and post it.

Ascent

Elsa has figured out how to climb the stairs all on her own. Sigh. That means a lot more work for me, and that also means I need to purchase more baby gates to keep her in one place. Elsa thinks climbing stairs (which she can do in the blink of an eye) is super fun, and this activity is made even more fun when I have to chase after her. As soon as I come after her, she shrieks with glee -- what a fun game (and, oh so safe too)!

May Fair

Last Saturday we had lots of fun at our local May Fair. Our town green was converted into a fun fair with lots of rides for kids, food and stands set up by local businesses and charities. Anna was in heaven! She got to ride the "big kids" carousel. First with Carlos then with me. The carousel was gorgeous -- a true, old-fashioned one, beautifully maintained complete with a pipe organ playing the music! I have to say that I enjoyed myself thoroughly on the ride.

Next Anna had her face painted with a butterfly. What? You can't tell that is supposed to be a butterfly?!? Really?? Yikes. I couldn't complain because the face painting was being done for free by a charitable organization, but, boy, that is the worst face painting that I've ever seen! I think it looks like Anna did it herself ... without a mirror! Anna, on the other hand, thought it was fantastic. I was counting the minutes until I could whip out the baby wipes and wash it off.

Elsa slept through most of the fun fair. Next year, my little one, next year.

Girls in the garden (and Bugs Bunny's secret)

I love this shot because you can really see how juicy Elsa's chubby cheeks are. Delicious.

"I'm not so sure about this sunhat thing."

A surprisingly nice picture of Anna (given that she nearly always makes faces at the camera these days). Notice that Bugs Bunny is modeling a lovely pink frock -- who knew he cross dressed? And, yes, Anna is wearing cowboy boots. In fact, she's wearing a pair of boots that my dad gave me as a little girl.

Five Years

Five years ago today, Carlos and I stood at a church altar dressed in some pretty fancy duds and pledged our love for each other. It was a great day. Five wonderful years -- it is amazing to think we are just at the beginning of our journey together!

Zzzzzzzzzz

Shhhh. Can you hear that??? It is silent, totally and completely silent. Miracle of miracles, Elsa is asleep in her own bed and hasn't woken up yet. Thanks to Angelika (I spent the evening at my monthly Bunco event where we didn't actually play Bunco but just sat around and chatted while drinking some wine -- how nice). Maybe it took someone other than me or Carlos to tell her enough was enough. Angelika (who also is not a fan of the cryinng it out) told me that she put Elsa to bed and stayed with her for an hour until Elsa finally fell asleep. Then, as she moved to go out the door, Elsa woke up and started crying. According to Angelika, she just said: "Elsa, go to sleep!" and that was it. Elsa stopped crying and went to sleep. Sounds too good to be true.

The Power of Speech

Thank you to Amalah and Mimi Smartypants! As a result of reading Amalah's blog with a reference to Mimi Smartypants' blog, I got a parenting tip that avoided 3 whole Anna-tantrums today. OK, are you ready for the big tip .... make it talk. Yup, that's it. Make whatever you want your child to do talk. It really works.

[The scene is set -- 8:58 am, Anna is still in her pjs and wants to wear them to school. She needs to be ready to go out the door in about 7 minutes. ]
SIF: Anna, let's get dressed.
ANNA: No, I don't want to. [tone starting to change to the whining tone that makes my hair stand on end]
S: Come on, you need to get dressed to go to school.
A: NO!
S: [remembering the sage Mimi Smartypants advice] Look Anna [holding up Dora the explorer underpants], Dora wants to say something to you. [In a high squeaky voice] Hi Anna, I'm Dora. I want to ride around on your bottom and go to school with you today. Come on Anna - put me on!
A: [tantrum rage instantly subsides, and a giggle starts to form] Mamma, what else does Dora say?
S: [after getting over the initial shock of how easy that was] Anna, I want you to put me on and then I'd like you to put your stripey shirt and tights on.
[without any more fuss, underpants, tights, shirt all go on]
S: Anna, let put your dress on. Look, your dress has little doggies on it. Do you know what this doggie says? Woof woof! Anna let me go to school with you today! Please please please!
A: [giggles, and puts the dress on]
THE END

AMAZING, I tell you, absolutely amazing. And the talking underpants weren't a fluke. It worked again at lunch time and again at bathtime [although, the bathtime "talking" involved some humiliating imitations of the Little Mermaid's singing].

I wish I could find something like that to solve Elsa's poor sleeping habits. Thankfully, I finally kicked my nasty houseguests to the curb -- SEE YA SUCKAHS! I hope we have no more visits from Messrs VB and ED. So, Elsa's back to her relatively cheerful self. But, she's been having bouts of extreme grumpiness. And I think this is due to the fact that she's cutting a molar! What??? The child only has 4.5 teeth (2 on the bottom, 2.5 on top)! But, the other day I noticed that she had an area on her gums, toward the back, that was really red and swollen. At first I thought she might have scratched it somehow, and it was infected. But, upon closer inspection, and finger probing on my part, I think is it a darned molar. How crazy is that? So, after being sick and having a bunch of teeth take forever to come in, Elsa is not, I repeat, not sleeping well. I've just spent the last hour and a half doing some controlled crying to see if I can't get her to fall asleep on her own. Crying it out is really an option of last resort on my part -- I find it extremely difficult. Let's hope she'll stay alseep. Fingers crossed.

PS: Anna has started calling her stuffed animals, and me, "darling". Yesterday, when I asked her to come to the table for dinner, she responded: "Just a minute, darling."

The worst house guests ... ever

I've just had a visit from the worst house guest ever - Mr. Vomiting Bug. He first arrived last Sunday evening and before I realized that I had even let him in the door, he snuck in his buddy - Mr. Explosive Diarrhea.

Reason #1 Messrs VB & ED are the worst house guests: They dared to attack my baby. I mean, really, gentlemen, why not pick on someone your own size and who isn't so damn cute? Elsa dealt with her first attack, initially just Mr. VB, pretty well, but she was clearly feeling awful. I know something is up when she has no appetite.

Reason #2 Messrs VB & ED are the worst house guests: They dared to attack my baby again. Wasn't Sunday enough?? Clearly not. Tuesday our washing machine got a work out. Tuesday Mr. VB decided to relax a bit, but Mr. ED wanted to party. I've never seen poop run down a pantleg with such speed and velocity.

Reason #3 Messrs VB & ED are the world's worst house guests: They dared to attack my baby a third time. ENOUGH ALREADY -- GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! Yesterday we had more vomiting and explosive pooping. Today, however, so far, so good. Poor Elsa is stuck eating bread, bananas and rice.

Me - I've had almost no sleep for a week because of these high maintenance house guests. Today I nearly went out to the grocery store in my slippers.

Pink Ladies

Elsa and I have started the London chapter of the Pink Ladies. Pink eye has arrived in my household. First Elsa, and now me. Ick ick ick and double ick. I'm not surprised that I've gotten it since Elsa's favorite activity of late is to blow huge, wet raspberries right in my face.

I'm just waiting to see if Anna will become a member of our exclusive club or not.

P.S. Way to go UK government - they've just extended their paid maternity leave from six months to nine months. US government -- get with the program!

Elsa & Sir Edmund Hillary

What do Elsa and Sir Edmund Hillary have in common? They both like climbing tall things. In Sir Edmund's case, it was Mount Everest. In Elsa's case, it is the stairs in the house. And, for someone just shy of 80 cm, that involves some Everest-like climbing.

Elsa has fallen in love with walking up the stairs. The key word here is "walking". She wants me to hold her hands as she steps up the stairs from the bottom level all the way to the top. That's 50 steps. Does that mean I have something in common with Sherpa guide Tenzig Norgay?

By the way, we had our 1 year check up on Friday, and no surprise here - Elsa's still pretty big (23 lbs and 78 cm). Anna better watch her back because at this rate Elsa's going to catch up with her big sister soon.

Good morning and farewell

Today is a grey and cold day. Grey in the way only London can do – steely with a damp cold that takes many cups of tea to shake off. In keeping with the weather, I saw the most bizarre site while walking with Anna to school – horse-drawn funeral procession going right down the main street leading into Richmond. Two jet black horses with jet black feathery headpieces were drawing a hearse carriage followed by a slow procession of black cars. Wow.

I’ve never seen something like this before. It is definitely a way to make a statement as you exit from the physical world – black horses clop-clopping down the street with two black-clad coachmen in black top hats.

Sneaky in the AM, Part II

You'd think I'd have learned my lesson last month when I discovered that Anna had been sneaking down to the kitchen in the mornings and gobbling up anything sweet that I may have left on the counter. But, no, not this mom.

Last Sunday was mother's day here in the UK, and Carlos went out in the morning to a cafe/bakery that's down the street to get some delicious pasteries for us. While he was there, he found a chocolate/marzipan sheep shaped like Shaun the Sheep. Shaun is a creation of Nick Park, the claymation guy who created Wallace and Gromit. Shaun the Sheep now stars in a TV show here (see him at: http://www.bbc.co.uk/cbbc/cartoons/shaunthesheep/), and Anna loves the show. As a matter of fact, we all love the show; it is very funny. So, Carlos thought Anna would enjoy getting a little Shaun the Sheep sweet. And I thought it was a good thing to use to incentivize Anna to finish her food.

Last night, Wednesday, Shaun still had not been eaten by Anna because she had failed to finish a single dinner since Sunday night. I put Shaun on the dinner table last night and told Anna that all she needed to finish were a few measly piece of pasta and some vegetables and Shaun would be all hers. She seemed pretty excited, but promptly started whining about how she couldn't finish her pasta and didn't want to eat vegetables. Shaun the Sheep went back into the packaging and back on the counter. BIG MISTAKE. Shaun was now on Anna's radar. This morning Anna came into my room at a little past 7 am. We all got up and went down for some breakfast. Nothing downstairs looked amiss, but then I looked a little more closely. The Shaun the Sheep packaging had, in fact, been tampered with. I peered inside to find a small portion of Shaun's sheep butt left, but the rest was gone. ANNA!!!!!! I was not pleased in the slightest.

Note to self: You have a small, browned-eyed sweetie thief living in your household. Do not leave sweeties lying around the kitchen.

I've been warned.

Eating and Sleeping

Eating and sleeping are two things that I enjoy immensely. Good food not only satisfies my hunger, I think it also is good for my soul. And sleeping -- I wish I could sleep 10 hours a night.

Eating -- Anna has developed the world's smallest appetite. I am at my wit's end as to what to do to get this child to eat properly. The thing the worries me the most is that I remember what a poor eater I was as a child, and I'm dreading have to deal with someone who is like I was. Anyone have any ideas for what I can do to make mealtimes less of a struggle??

Sleeping -- Anna, despite not eating much, is a pretty good sleeper. She's a deep sleeper and falls asleep easily on her own. Elsa, on the other hand, is a champion eater, but a lousy sleeper. She craves physical contact so badly that getting her to fall asleep on her own is a monumental task. Argh.

I went to Spamalot last weekend. It was pretty darn funny, but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who doesn't like Monty Python. A lot of silly humor and poking fun at musicals, particularly Andrew Lloyd Weber musicals.

Struggling

Ugh. I'm really struggling to get work done today. I've been feeling gross and nauseous since last night, and I'm worried because there's a nasty vomiting bug going around. I hope I'm just feeling icky due to lack of sleep. I just bought tickets for Spamalot for tomorrow night to go with my brother and Carlos. I'd really much rather listen to Monty Python gags than do a close examination of my toilet's porcelain.

Happy Birthday Elsa

It has been 12 whole months since that moment in the wee hours of March 12, 2006 when I told Carlos: "I wouldn't bother getting changed into your pyjamas if I were you." And 12 whole months of getting to know a lovely little person named Elsa Lind. She is a mischevious little slice of joy.

Today was a glorious and unusually warm spring day -- what a wonderful way to welcome Amma, Afi and Kiddi. They arrived this morning and Anna and Elsa were thrilled to see them. Anna immediately co-opted Kiddi to be her own personal entertainment -- she loves her Uncle Kiddi. Meanwhile, the birthday girl entertained with her belly laughs, bear hugs and bottom scoots. It was one of those days that made me feel like a very very lucky person.

P.S. In the background of the pictures you can see some of the new colors of the house. I'm particularly in love with the terracotta color.

Queen of Scat

I've been waiting for this moment to come, and it has arrived. Anna is the queen of scat in this household. Scatalogical humor, that is. Lately, she thinks anything that involves the words: poopoo, stinky or poopy is fall down laughing funny. Her favorite saying is "Elsa's a stinky poopoo." Then she proceeds to crack herself up for about 10 minutes. Hilarious.

This may be something to file under "too much information", but I think my hips are finally moving back to their pre-pregnancy location. Either that, or I'm developing some wicked arthritis in my hips. I hope it is the former. It started a few weeks ago with my left hip aching, and that made me feel like a crooked grocery cart (or "shopping trolley" if I'm to get all British with you). My bad left hip made me feel like I wanted to veer off to the right all the time. At least now that both hips are aching, I don't feel like I'm veering off course anymore. Maybe this means that some of my prepregnancy clothes will start fitting again. Yeah, that's right -- they don't fit because my hips haven't gone back and not because I continue to consume too many biscuits and other sweet treats. (As Anna says: "I love sweets -- they're so tasty!" -- like mother like daughter)

Is it too good to be true?

The insurance company's claims adjuster came today to check out all the damage under my floors from the drain fiasco. I was ready for a fight -- I was positive he would tell me that the insurance would only cover the replacement of a portion of the flooring instead of everything. Replacing just one portion of the floor would look ridiculous since we the same wood flooring covering the entire kitchen/family/dining room area. But, the claims adjuster agreed that would should replace the entire floor (especially since we don't know how extensive the water damage is). Wow! Although, I'm going to wait until I get the check from the insurance company before I really celebrate.

On a side note, this part of my homeowners insurance coverage is for "escape of water". I think this is such a funny phrase. To me, this phrase sounds like something that has been translated into English from another language -- it doesn't sound quite right to my ears, even though it is technically correct. I'm a weirdo.

Anna continues to raid Elsa's closet. I'm thinking of putting a child lock over the knobs of the closet doors. Also, she's decided that she no longer says "No thank you"; she says "no thank".